Thursday, July 9, 2009

Breaking Point

I think I've finally reached my breaking point. The last month and a half has had more emotional upheaval than I can bottle up and tonight I've finally lost the fight I think. I'm not sure if I'm crying because I'm sad or because I'm mad and doesn't matter.

My divorce was officially and legally final May 29th. All that really meant for me was that I could go through the county to get child support instead of having to ask my ex for it all the time.

The next big event was my ex got laid off from work and decided there was nothing keeping him in Minnesota so he's going to move back to Arkansas. He'll be moving by the end of July. He wanted to break it to the kids and like the idiot that I am I said ok. When the kids get back from his place my oldest tells me he said she could move down there with him and I couldn't do anything about it. My youngest tells me that according to Daddy he would be moving down there but he could call me every day. My middle one was told he'd get to visit his be quite frank this is a huge part of why we got divorced. My ex is an ass and thinks of nobody but himself. Moving to Arkansas is easier for him and to hell with everyone else. He was verbally and emotionally abuse to me and the kids when we were married and continues to be now. That is why I actually have sole physical custody of the kids in the divorce and he is only allowed reasonable parenting time. The kids will not be moving to Arkansas with him.

Next, the sale of the house was finalized and the move to the Apartment was complete. We lived in that house for 10 years and it really was home. I'm not sure if the apartment will ever feel like home but it's nice at least....

Finally the breaking point......My ex took the kids to Arkansas the week before the fourth to visit with their grandparents. This was a planned vacation and since he'll be moving soon I said it was okay if they stayed for two weeks but they had to be back by the 10th. (In the divorce he is allowed two weeks in the summer but not consecutive unless I agree, which friends and family told me not too but again, I'man idiot) Now tonight at 9pm he calls and says he won't be able to bring them back, he isn't sure, might have to work on the truck, unless I want him to risk the kids safety, blah blah blah..... Honestly this is what I was afraid would happen when we first separated. To be quite honest, after all the lies he has told me in the past, I don't know what to believe. Maybe there is something wrong with his truck but if so he could borrow his mom or dad's vehicle and bring the kids home, or get them plane tickets (probably cheaper than driving anyways), or something. No instead I will be driving down there in the morning to get my kids.........maybe I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill or maybe he is doing this just to upset me, I just don't know and probably never will. Ugh!!! Hopefully writing this will help and I can relax and get a little sleep before the drive.......